Our God Is An Awesome God...and Your God Sucks

 Rev. Robert Jeffress: Professional Jackass.  How come God only talks to guys like this? (Courtesy CNN)

Well, I guess everyone can close out their office pool about when the Mormon faith would be brought up. Forget "dog whistle" politics: this was a fog horn. Bar the door to the temple: it's cult time!

In the new Republican majority, the tea party dominates the landscape, and for those who say that it doesn't, just ask your man in the well John Boehner. Any piece of legislation from the speaker's office is doomed from the jump. It is like being coach of the Dallas Cowboys: you might have the headset on, but the voice coming through it is from the owners box, which in conservative politics is the tea party. The old line party structure, where you paid your dues and moved up, is gone in the GOP.

Two decades ago, the Christian conservative/evangelical movement was a political behemoth. Fronted by a fresh-faced Ralph Reed, the movement helped bring about the Republican majority of 1994. Televangelist Pat Robertson wanted to move from the 700 Club to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. They had money, media and support from the pews...and then, much like when we all wake up and realize we are a little bit older and grayer, the glory days had passed.

Ralph Reed was looped into the Jack Abramoff circle of power, Pat Robertson declared hurricanes and earthquakes God's change agent for geographical sin, and religious conservatives had nowhere to direct their angst. Enter the primaries...where when Rick Perry begins to struggle, one of his supporters throws out that the man who is beating Perry has to be an "other." That is one point on which Romney and President Obama can commiserate: being described as alien. Mitt Romney has to be part of a cult...a cult where he remains married to one woman for life, has five upstanding kids, and makes tons of money in private business. What Would Jesus Do, Indeed! Taken on its face, is not that the checklist for a values voter? (If anyone from the RNC is reading this, I think I deserve some royalties: I defend Republicans better than Mr. Preibus does).

Romney's faith was a not a problem until Chris Christie decided to keep his talents in Trenton. At that very moment money and endorsements flowed over to Romney, and Perry and his backers realized that Guy Smiley and his Potemkin Village health care were not enough of an anvil to sink his candidacy and have everyone move over to Perry.

Note: I do not blame Gov. Perry's campaign for this episode of intolerance, but as a political professional, you probably do not want a pastor who also said that the Catholic church is backed by Satan as your warm up act on the road. After Iowa and South Carolina, there is the little issue of the rest of the United States, where many of the working class Reagan Democrats that Republicans hunger for take communion every week.

And also: a hat tip to the Republican candidates who were asked about this over the weekend during all the political news programs: Jim Brown and Walter Payton combined couldn't sidestep tacklers the way they sidestepped the question of Mitt Romney's faith. I would love to be shocked, but this is the same crew of heroes who would not stand up for an openly gay soldier who asked a question (from Iraq) and was booed by the crowd. If there is room on the National Mall, we should fund a monument to the Republican field: all of them standing with their arms crossed, straddling a huge fence.

Even as a Democrat, I have to admire Mitt Romney and the abusive marriage he continues to stay in. Oh, I don't mean to his lovely wife: I am talking about his union with the Republican Party. How many times can you hear you are not loved or wanted, when all you do is try to make it work? Bringing home flowers, doing the counseling, denying that you had any part in insuring the citizens of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts: its all so tough. The best thing Mitt Romney can do is keep raising money, gathering endorsements, and start working on his book about how he lost the 2012 presidential race to Barack Obama.

BTW: I believe in God.  I believe in a warm, loving God that is there for you in times of need but let's you figure it out when you have the tools too and makes sure that we are all part of the energy of the world-an ethereal Atticus Finch.  Rev. Jeffress kills it for the rest of us.

Chris Christie: The Candidate for True Political Maschocists

Chris Christie made the choice not to be a candidate for president when he uttered these words: "I'm not ready to be president." That piece of tape would be the centerpiece of every spot that ran against him.  Why are conservatives clamoring for the Garden State Guv?  His policy depth?  His fundraising prowess?  None of the above.  They want him cause he is a rude son of a bitch, and if that is the key component in choosing their dance partner, the field is full of world class jerks (and a jerkette).
Republicans are going to have to learn to love the one they're with, and choose from among the announced candidates currently in the field (see Mitt Romney).


When Christie does run for prez, watch out: his communications team will have to be tougher than Navy SEALS.

Adios, Mofo, Indeed

Two months ago the Republican party was clamoring for Rick Perry to come and save not only the GOP but the nation as well, claiming his "Texas miracle" in the jobs arena was as miraculous as the governor walking across the Red River. Cue the Jerry Bruckheimer-tinged ads and roll straight to the White House...right after he explains his Dream Act, contributions and hires from Merck after his vaccination policy, and the fact that the Texas miracle was more plucking jobs from other states and leaning heavily on federal dollars to make these things happen.

Perry does need to shake things up, and he needs to show he is serious about being leader of the free world. But he's not. Most of the candidates in the Republican field aren't. Perry shows that he did not do the work necessary to prepare himself for a presidential run, and then his people state their grand plan, showing how seriously they take this process (and after Florida conservatives said 'give us Herman Cain'), is to double down on kicking Mitt Romney's tokus.

Not only is the Republican field in trouble, the Republican brand is in trouble. Cheering for people dying in hospitals and booing a brave soldier (who was in theater - he asked the question from Iraq) is the calling card of this party. That soldier, along with every other service member, swears an oath to uphold and defend the Constitution. The candidates for president envision taking this same oath in front of the Capitol on a cold January day, and not one, especially Gov. Perry, has shown the ability to defeat President Obama and get to that day.
A free tip to the governor and his staff: he's not Sam Houston. He is running for president of the United States, a vast and wonderful land of diverse people and needs. "How we do it in Texas" was dial-tested for the first eight years of this century, and it did not fare well.

Perry has not shown the effort it takes to be in this for the next year. Running for president is an seemingly unending march, even for the best prepared and financed individuals (when Perry stated people didn't have a heart, he meant he didn't have the heart to keep running). Treating it like a formality is an insult, even to those of us on the other side of the aisle. Put forth your best, and we will beat them. But give voters a choice of candidates that really want to be in the arena, to fight the fights. So far, the saviors have not brought salvation.

Eventually the Right will have to accept that their team is on the field, and they will have to choose accordingly. Just wanting to be crowned is not enough - you have to pass the talent portion of the pageant as well. In Joseph Heller's Catch 22, stating you were crazy proved you weren't, because you had the ability to see your mental state clearly. Almost every time out, stating you are ready to be president of the United States shows you aren't.

Birthday Presents: For conservatives, no books, please

I recently turned 35 years old.  Not really a milestone (more of a mile marker), but it does make me pause and reflect.  I should be something by now (jury out on that one), and my body is starting to show its weak points.  Luckily it started betraying me years ago, so this isn't a shock.  A few grey hairs are an easy trade off to be above ground and among the living.  I have passed the ones we think of: I can vote, buy booze, and rent a car (does it bother anyone else that you can choose your leaders and die for your country 7 years before you can rent a Chevy Cobalt for the weekend?).  But there is something I can finally do now that I have crossed the midpoint of my fourth decade on earth: I can run for president.

Now mind you, I never want to run, or be elected, president of these here United States.  Like most people, I would not want the responsibility of being the most powerful person in the world.  Now the perks would be sweet (Air Force One would really help impress my high school classmates at my 20th reunion).  Most importantly, I know that I am not smart enough to be president.  I know that it takes someone of supreme intellect to put his business cards on the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office (and I know everyone is clearing their throats about the first 8 years of this century and how dumb W was).  You have to be smart...for the United States to succeed.  We have had stupid presidents (at least those who pretended to be) and during their time in office our nation went through some of its worst episodes.  W, he of a vitae that lists Harvard biz and Yale undergrad, stated that he wasn't much of a reader and left that up to Laura (I believe a marriage should be an institution where responsibilities are split and shared, but everyone should read, damn it).  Reagan was another guy who was all about the average guy and didn't need information to run his government; hence that is why he is worshiped by the right today.  But fellow history buffs need to remember that Nancy outfitted the White House with hundreds of thousands of dollars in updates (china, furniture, etc.) as the nation was finding new joys such as crack cocaine and shuttered factories taking permanent vacations south of the border and leaving average working Joe's in the lurch.

But it is not the dastardliness of the right and how regular Americans get screwed with their policies...its that they promote being stupid as the highest form of patriotism.  Institutions of higher education are reservations for communists and enemies of our nation.  Science is a tool to turn God-fearing Christians from the Bible and towards the Gomorrah of evolution and free thought (reason is a tool of the devil and exists in every person but must be defeated, like sexual desire and sugary foods). Why would any reasonable person, or group of people, not want to seek the answers to the big questions of life?  Is that not what generations fought and died for: the opportunity for their kids to live in a world where the libraries and schools held the answers and they were available to all? One of the greatest things about our society is that you can be educated, no matter your socio-economic status.  Then why are the persons running to be the supreme American (everyone of them is college-educated, and usually have a graduate-level credential), the person that represents us to the world and all that is great about our experiment in democracy, openly mock knowledge?

Watch the Republican candidates for president: they are like the smart kids in junior high who know its not cool to raise your hand when you know the answer.  They want to be liked by the jocks, so they pretend (when they could be both: Bill Bradley, line 2, please).  And its not just candidates for president: a North Carolina state senator, a medical doctor, believes that gay people can be turned straight and that office holders should work for this goal.  His reasoning is not just hate: he believes that being gay reduces your lifespan.  Wherever he went to medical school, I don't think I would be naming the library after him.  Its insulting to the nation and every young man and woman that stands a post in a far away land wanting nothing more than to know that their beloved home is safe and awaiting them for their return, no matter the status of their mortality.  They deserve leaders who are engaged and do not shun knowledge. 

The leader of the greatest nation on earth should have a voracious appetite for knowledge, one that can hardly be satisfied.  The republican presidential  read half a page and were full.  I know that I am not smart enough to run for president.  This field knows that they aren't as well...but they do not care enough about America to stop themselves. 

Why Candidate From Central Casting Mitt Romney Can't Get Hawkeye Love

 Pictured: Former Governor of Massachusetts and friend to dogs everywhere Mitt Romney



Romney can't be what the primary voters of Iowa want him to be: a folksy, evangelical Christian. He is a former governor of the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts (where, horror of horrors, he worked with Democrats to establish a health care plan for the citizens), a CEO and a Mormon.

He is not offering to pray away the gay or is going to brag about creating minimum wage jobs in Texas (or the stimulus money that was used to create them). Perry and Bachmann represent a certain arm of the party, and Romney, with smaller roles for Huntsman and even Ron Paul, represent another (more Rockefeller Republican than 'God called me to bankrupt America').

The importance of Iowa is for the horse race and for raising money. It is generally seen that the race is going to be Romney versus the Queen of Rage or the President of Texas (come for the McJobs-stay for the secession!). Romney does not have a problem with funding, and his pro-business message will resonate as long as he sticks to the script. If he tries to become a Howard Beale candidate for the right his campaign will falter quickly. He has to look like the adult in the room. As January gets closer he will spend more time in Iowa. Too much time in Iowa narrows the focus of candidates: it is a portion of the country, not a microcosm. He has the money to establish himself in the rest of the primary states and not have to turn and burn the Wednesday after the Iowa caucuses.

Candidates who are level-headed and cool under pressure move through the storm of emotion politics, which center on blame and not solutions. Anger-centered campaigns end with a show on Fox News: solution-centered campaigns end with the keys to Camp David.

http://www.politico.com/arena/archive/is-romney-falling-short.html#F4FF2C66-183D-4B3E-8BD7-96022A7415AE

Howard Beale Aint' Got Nothing On Me

Why am I mad as hell and ain't gonna take it anymore? 1000 jobs:  I have applied to 1000 jobs.  1000 times I have hit send (almost always online now: and do not ever think about actually dropping by in person or following up with calls or other emails).  1000 times I have sent an email to a complete stranger, asking them to think about me in their office or organization.  1000 times I have asked a stranger (in a couple of paragraphs and some bullet points ) to please take the 45 seconds it takes to read a cover letter and think about gandering at my resume (which is attached below with references, per your request).  My resume…the three page opus that sums up the last two decades of my life.  Dates and skills that were acquired during the ocean voyage of change that is adulthood.  Some sunsets off the port side, but mostly storm-tossed days and nights of career choices, shitty bosses, days of work through illness, divorce, despair and the shear WTF of trying to build a work and education history in the Inferno of modern life, and since I have wandered into the darkened wood of higher education and white-collar work as the first in my family, I have no Virgil to guide me.

In the coliseum Caesar would judge how well you fought and entertained the crowd by a thumbs up or down.  The coliseum has been replaced by an inbox, and Caesar is now the staffer the 20-something staffer who is going to determine if you are worthy of working in the same office as they (but you won’t be because you aren’t Facebook friends with them). 

1000 jobs…some of them that I am qualified for, and most that I am overqualified for.  These are not jobs where I may be a stretch in the realms of qualifications or education. No , Captain: these are mostly jobs where my education exceeds the need by years, and my experience is more than they can think to put in their advertisement (and they can never dream that someone exceeding their requests would apply, because, hell, if you don’t have a job with all your education and experience there must be something wrong with you, right?)

1000 jobs...entry-level jobs that cause them to look askew at you as an applicant when they want new grads and you are comfortably at the midpoint of your 30s. 1000 jobs where a masters degree and a GED pull the same weight.

1000 jobs…most of them in politics, and as a member of the working man’s party, jobs I would proudly fill, even for wages that couldn’t support a single human being in a Third World country.  Jobs that, as the son of a union machinist , mean something to me.  Jobs that, as a former Army grunt, would be beyond the wildest dreams of my family even one generation back.  And speaking of the military, the 1000 people who read your cover letter don’t respect that you wore a uniform.  They don’t see you as a veteran: they see you as a chump.  Like senior citizens they only need during elections, you are something they only need on the 4^th of July and Memorial Day, where they memorialize the fact that they didn’t make the same mistake you did of pledging yourself to something bigger than you.

1000 jobs…most where some prick who read Nickel and Dimed feels that they know better than you the plight of the working poor, when that is the only title your American caste has known.  Jobs with offices and computers and break rooms and water coolers and cake for someone’s birthday and emails about Taco Day.  Jobs where you don’t have to go underground to dig coal or up on a roof on a hot day to shingle it. Jobs where a machine won’t cut off your fingers or paralyze you.  Jobs where you don’t have to carry a rifle or wait for a phone call that is going to take you across the world and will send you back different: even if not in a wheelchair or a metal casket, in a fog that will envelope your brain and never let you find your way out.

Jobs advocating for those who cannot…jobs where you can bridge the divide between rich and poor.  Jobs where you can look back and see the divide you have crossed and can make sure the bridge is stronger and more direct for those coming behind you. Hell, jobs where I promise to get coffee and dry cleaning for people-far removed from leading anyone out of bondage, financial or otherwise. 

1000 times I have tried to cross that bridge, bringing with me every no that has ever been directed towards me…and 1000 times I have been told the bridge is out, even as I watch others cross it.

More to come, team…as we say in group, I had to get that out that out there.  

Cuyahoga Tributaries: A Burning River Coming To Your Town Soon

 Republicans are saying that as a government we cannot afford to protect air and water quality.  As a nation we are the envy of the world when it comes to natural resources, and what does the GOP think? Pure water is a socialist plot, and the 'Merican people won't stand for it.  For the next fundraising dinner, I suggest steaks from an unregulated slaughter house and ice-cold DC water all around.  You want to take this country back? Let's take it back to 1906! Upton Sinclair would be put in the camp of global warming alarmists today.

That is the headline that I run with an any race against a member of the House: Congressman X believes there simply isn't room in the budget (your tax dollars) for clean air and water. What is more important than that? If you cannot breath clean air and drink non-carcinogenic water, what is this country worth?
I want to know the business interests that are more important than pure natural resources. Please turn to your child on a hot day as you had them a drink of water and say "Sorry, baby: I know the water is black and tastes and smells like burnt rubber, but we have to make sure oil companies keep their tax breaks to increase their record profits. When you grow up you will realize that is what the Founding Fathers risked their lives for - oh, that and ending slavery: hat tip to Michele Bachmann."

The new House majority has had a good time their first six months, as it has been fairly easy. All they have had to do is find a friendly reporter and say that they were elected to Congress to slash all spending. Well, team, Americans pay taxes for other things than just to pay the salaries of their reps: they pay them so that they won't choke to death breathing or poison themselves or their children when they turn on the tap or eat fish from local waters. In 1969 the Cuyahoga River burned (yes, Mr. Wizard: water burned) due to all the chemicals clogging Cleveland's waterway.  This led to the president at the time (wish I could remember his party affiliation...) to sign into the law the Clean Water Act and oversaw the creation of the EPA.  Will someone tell me why the right wants to get rid of these protections and turn 21st century America into a post-apocalyptic Cormac McCarthy novel?

This is supposed to be a hard job, ladies and gentlemen. It's not just parades and fundraisers. Politicians say that they don't want to leave the next generations a financial catastrophe; don't leave them an environmental one as well. This is more than just an issue for sportsmen: it's an issue for anyone walking this earth, and hunters and anglers will walk right to the ballot box and make a change they can believe in.